We're going back to Mid-World. Somehow, that feels right, like there's a part of me that really does belong there. Maybe there is. I can't help feeling like all these stacked up worlds are reflections of something truer. That doesn't mean that the reflections aren't real--I'm real, so are Carrie and that other James--but it's all connected. Perhaps that's why Ashleigh kept connecting me to the Eden who fell--because she and I are connected somehow.
It's a creepy thought.
I think the Rose is one of the true things--no, I know that it is. You just have to be near it to know that. I don't envy James--I hope that someday he can walk right up to the Rose and feel that sense of rightness. He's changed so much in the short time I've known him. Hell, we all have. But his is the longest path to walk, because he fell the furthest. I'm so glad he has Penny to give him a hand. And Carrie? Perhaps. There's something there, I feel it, but we'll see which way ka blows us.
I think we're better prepared for Mid-World this time. I hope we are. No, I won't let myself slide back into that cycle of doubt. It's too easy to get caught up in worrying about failing, so easy to look right past the things that need seeing.
I can't believe how close I was to giving up. I'm glad I talked to Carrie. I'm still worried, but I feel much clearer. Lighter. And I can see the path ahead of us. I just have to press on.
Press on for one more victory in the name of the White. Press on for the Tower, and the Rose.
For myself.
For everyone.
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